How to Handle Arguments

Lets face it - when you love someone, whether it's your parents or your best friend or your boyfriend, you're going to argue sometimes. These arguments are a big deal because when you care about each other, the things you say to each other matter more. What we need to know is how to handle these situations.

*Talk. It's true, communication is key. And talking means not yelling. Tell him what's bothering you, how you feel, why you feel this way. He won't know unless you tell him.

*Listen. You both need a turn to talk. Communication is two sided. Just like how he needs to know what you're thinking, you need to know what he's thinking. Back-and-fourth communication where you take turns talking and listening is the focus of every good relationship.

*Don't walk away. When you're frustrated or upset, you may feel like walking away or just dropping the conversation. Avoiding the problem is not a solution. You will feel much better when you work things out together.

*Apologize. You may not want to, but think of how you felt when you two were arguing. Do you want him to feel that way? Saying 'I'm sorry I upset you' shows you care about his feelings. And sometimes we're wrong. The idea isn't to win every fight, but to admit our wrongs and apologize for them.

Keep in mind that while arguing too much may be a sign of a bad relationship, arguing once in a while is healthy. If you handle arguments the right way, they will be building blocks that make your relationship stronger and bring you two closer.

TIP OF THE DAY:
Never forget how much you care about each other. Sure you may argue sometimes, but that's why it's worth working through these tough situations - because at the end of the day you both know you care about each other and want to be together.

Long-Distance Relationships

 

Do you miss him? Waiting for that one phone call? When will you see each other again? Will you still be exclusive when he moves? 

I'm sure these are some questions that goes through our mind when dealing with long distance relationships... but truth is, as long as you are both ready to take on a new challenge as a couple and you trust each other, then this will be a walk in the park for you. Pretty soon, you'll be counting the days until your together again. 

But first things first, there are some factors every couple should consider before making the next move. To many people, it may seem as if being far away from each other would make things much more complicated, but the reality is, it all just depends on both of you, as a couple. For whatever reason that you might be separated by distance, it's important for the relationship if both ends are putting in the effort needed to make it work. 

As a couple, you two would need to trust one another. If you both made a commitment that you would make it work, then the easiest way to get through it is by staying in touch and building that trust and loyalty with each other. Without trust, the long-distance relationship is doomed. Not only do you need to trust him, but he needs to trust you as well.

Try and share everything with one another. After all, you two are a couple right? Just because he’s not there on a daily basis doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be a part of your life. As difficult as it might be, it will help you both in establishing and continuing the relationship from where you left off.

As I already mentioned, by staying in touch often - it would make things a bit easier. Although, it may be a bit hectic and quite expensive for your phone bills; by keeping in touch via text messages, email, webcam and letters - it would at least help and make it seem as if he never left - as long as you both make an effort to talk to one another as often as possible.

Remember, make reunions count. Hopefully distance has helped you to appreciate each other more, which makes for even steamier reunions. It’s important to enjoy the expectation that comes with waiting. Knowing you’ve got a flight booked makes those lonely night pass faster. Make sure when you do meet up, you treat it as quality time together, and not catch-up time with the rest of the planet. Consider reunions a vacation if possible, because, let's face it, things would that be that much better. Make every moment count.

Lastly, schedule time accordingly. While reunions are wonderful, if they’re too far apart, stress will build up. The more frequent the reunions, the more “normal” your relationship will feel. However, if frequent reunions are impossible, try to deal with issues as they arise rather than waiting to spring them on him like a cold shower when you’re finally together.

So ladies, there you have it. Just a few tips and advice on how to survive the long distance relationships. Just remember to look forward to the days that you will be together again, and time will just fly by. Distance means nothing if the person means so much...


TIP OF THE DAY:
Trust is key in every relationship, whether the distance may be a factor or not, just remember to trust one another no matter what. Stay positive throughout the time apart and stay in touch as much as possible, because when you do get together it would be that much better. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

When to say 'I Love You'

The  first time you say 'I love you' to your boyfriend is a big deal. It's scary, exciting, confusing, and meaningful. It's a big step to take in a relationship and many people have the same question... when is the right time to say it?

Well, it's hard to say when the 'right' time is. Many people say it's whenever it feels 'right' and when you know that you really do love the person. But how will you know?

It's true that you shouldn't say it until you know you love the person. When you say it make sure you mean it. But what exactly does loving someone mean? It means caring about the person, wanting them to be happy and going out of your way to make sure they are, trusting them, wanting to spend everyday with them... if these things are true for you, then chances are you really do love and care about him.

So you love him... now what? You may be nervous about his reaction. Will he say it back? Does he feel the same way? Here's some clues that maybe he does:

• He shares his thoughts and feelings with you. If he sees you as someone he can talk to about things that matter to him, it's because he trusts you and cares about you.
• He brings you around his friends. If he introduces you to his friends and lets you spend time with them, it's because he is proud to be with you and he sees you as one of his friends too.
• He's there for you. If he makes you his first priority and will go out of his way to be there for you when you need him, it's because you're important to him and he wants to make you happy.

When you feel like you love him and it seems like he loves you, that's the 'right' time.

TIP OF THE DAY:

Don't say it if you're not ready. Wait until you're comfortable and absolutely sure. Don't feel forced to say 'I love you' back if he says it to you first. Make sure you mean it.

How to Deal with Break-Ups

So, this may be a bit of a touchy subject, however, as much as we hate talking about it... Break-ups happen in every relationship. We've all been there and done that. For the time being, it may be really hard to deal with, but as long as you stay positive, you will be alright. 

First and foremost, there are many reasons why a relationship might be coming to an end... I think it's safe to say that we can all agree that not all relationships are a fairytale ending. Relationships take work and effort from both ends and as much as we'd like to try, sometimes, things just don't work out. 

Here are the common reasons why many couples break-up...

- Fell out of love 

- He cheated (check post "The C-Word - Dealing with Cheaters)

- Trust issues

- Always fighting

- He may want different things

- He moved / distance

- Conflicting issues with family and friends

So, how do we know when he might be ready to walk out? Guys aren’t known for initiating relationship conversations - which is why when/if they do break things off, it often seems like the bomb was dropped out of the blue.  

Here are some signs your boyfriend is ready to call it quits...

- He overloads at work

- He stopped inviting you to hang with his friends

- He keeps conversations neutral

- He boxes you out

- He stopped texting you sweet things

- Cuts off the PDA

For starters, the loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard - you may feel so much pain and heartache at the time and for all we know, this is the hardest part of a break-up, but remember it's not the end of the world, just like the famous saying "there are other fishes in the sea..." So, keep in mind that there is someone out there for everybody. When you are ready to move on, your perfect guy will come. Just don't look too hard!

   

Break-ups usually bring out a mixed of emotions and many times you may feel like you have to start over, and in reality, maybe it's just what we need. It may be hard for you to imagine your life without your boyfriend right now but truth is, you will move on. The only thing you have to do is to let yourself know that you will get through this. Stay positive. If it came to a point that one of you decide it isn't working out anymore, then it is time to re-evaluate what's best for the relationship and one another. Truth is, if there's only one person willing to work out on the relationship, no matter what the situation may be, as a couple, you will both have a difficult time dealing with any issues that you may have in the relationship. After all, it takes two to tango.

* * *

Now, everyone handles their break-ups differently. The important thing to do is to take your time with it. It may have come from out of left field for you or you were already expecting it, but at the end of the day, it is what it is. The moving on process just depends on YOU. It's all in a matter of timing. Whenever you are ready to take those pictures down, hide those love letters or that stuffed teddy bear he gave you for Valentines day, whatever it may be, when you are ready to do so, you are taking the first step to moving on.

However, keep in mind, the longer you hold on to these feelings - the harder it will be to get over him. So during this process, consider surrounding yourselves with girlfriends and have fun with them. There is no use of sulking in and feeling depressed and thinking of 'what if' situations, what happened and what you could have done to prevent it - I'm sure we can come up with many reasons and things that we can do differently, but things happen for a reason.  Just see it as a thing of the past, and you need to move forward and move on.

TIP OF THE DAY:

Take this time to refocus on yourself and the other relationships you have with your friends and family. Remember, it's not the end of the world - take it one day at a time, and move on at your own pace. Sooner or later, a new love interest might just be waiting around the corner.

The 'C' Word - Dealing with Cheaters

I'd say it's a pretty bad word. It sure isn't something good. Not always easy to talk about and definitely not easy to deal with. No one likes that ugly word that destroys so many relationships... Cheating.

So why do it? Well there's different reasons as to why people cheat. Some do it because they get bored, some for revenge, some to feel better about themselves... but bottom line is, if someone is cheating on you then they don't deserve to be with you. They can apologize and tell you all the things that you want to hear but words are simply words and actions speak much louder.

If you do find out your boyfriend is cheating, you're pretty much left with two options. Will you decide to break up with him or forgive him? Now I'm not here to tell anyone what to do, but keep in mind that if you forgive him you're pretty much allowing him to cheat. You're putting up with his actions and this often starts a vicious cycle. Remember what they say - once a cheater, always a cheater.

If you've ever cheated or even considered it, keep in mind what you're doing to the person you care about. When you're in a relationship you often need to try and see things from your partner's perspective. Would you want the person you love to do this to you? What would it do to the relationship if you found out they did? If you feel the need or want to cheat or be with someone else, break up. Don't stay with the person and cheat on them because you're not helping anyone - not yourself, not your boyfriend, and not the person you're cheating with. 

TIP OF THE DAY:

There's no reason to stick with a cheater. You deserve the best and there are plenty of other people that would love to treat you like the queen that you are.

Meeting the Parents

Now, I know what you're all thinking once you read this week's new post, and I'm not just talking about Ben Stiller's movie...

So what comes to mind when you hear these words from your boyfriend suggesting to meet his parents? I bet a bunch of nerves just come rushing in huh? But don't you worry, today's blog post will be talking about the many tips and pointers to remember and perhaps even answer all of your questions regarding this dreaded or loved topic of "Meeting the Parents"


>> How to know when to bring your boy home
So, whether or not you've been going out with your current beau for 3 months, 6 months or a year, it all depends on when is the right time to bring your significant other to meet your mom and dad. Now, try to keep in mind that not all families are the same. Some families may be laid back or some could be really strict and traditional - this is what usually determines when or how to approach this situation. For instance, if your family is more of the strict and traditional type, parents usually demand to meet the boyfriend as soon as it gets serious OR there are also some parents that usually just ask to be casually introduced to the boyfriend as a sign of respect so that they have a general idea of who their child is spending time with. So as for the timing of when to bring your significant other home, it all depends on how your family is and where you and your beau stand in the relationship.

Furthermore, meeting the parents can bring a lot of mixed emotions into a relationship. Some couples may begin to question if things are getting serious between the two of them or whether or not one of them is moving things too fast or not. Regardless, the most important thing to remember is to WAIT to meet the family. If you're both in a relationship where you're both ready to take on the challenge as to meet one another's families, then it would be the right time to introduce them. Don't rush into meeting the family. Take your time to get to know one another first before you jump on that wagon, then you mutually decide on when the right time to do so in terms of when to bring them home.


>> Making an Impression
So if you were on the other end that has to meet the parents, remember that FIRST IMPRESSIONS LAST. Do your research and find out a little bit about your beau's family. Of course, the most important thing is to BE YOURSELF, don't be the 'try-hard-girlfriend' and laugh at every joke your boyfriend's dad says, just keep it simple and stay polite. But in terms of research, try to learn the names of his family members, find out who will be present during the time that you will be meeting them, etc.  Also, as for first impressions, dress appropriately and remember to be punctual. Your clothing says a lot about yourself, it's best to stay on the safe side and perhaps wear something simple and conservative that still says enough about your personality. Now, let's stay out of the 'looks department'...

Another thing that your boyfriend's parents will be looking at is your behaviour. Remember to BE RESPECTFUL, and perhaps bring a little something as a nice gesture, for instance, bring some flowers, or a bottle of wine (if they drink)... anything that shows that you are grateful for them opening their home to you and/or taking the time to meet you will definitely score you some mommy points.

Furthermore, it's also best to ask your boyfriend to brief you a little bit about what questions to avoid asking to avoid any awkward moments... Instead, try and figure out what are his parent's hobbies and interests in order to start some good conversations. Plus, you'll also score some daddy points if it looks as if you made an effort to get to know his family. Lastly, remember to ENJOY YOURSELF! Don't be too nervous and just remember that your boyfriend is still by your side through all of this, besides, your doing this because you love him right? So just make the best of it. It'll be over before you know it.

TIP OF THE DAY:

Approach the meeting as an opportunity to get to know your boyfriend's family and become their friends. After all, you both love your boyfriend, so already you have something important in common.

Things to do for Anniversaries

Just like how your parents celebrate every year they’ve been married, many couples celebrate every year they’ve been dating. Even every month. One thing to keep in mind is that everyone celebrates differently (or not at all).

So how do you celebrate?

Maybe by sending a text saying ‘happy 6 months baby’, or by going out to dinner, or maybe with a gift.

Time is what brings us closer and makes relationships grow stronger. Anniversaries are milestones in our relationships, showing us how far we have come and how much amazing time we have spent together. But the question still remains... to celebrate or not to celebrate?

If your boyfriend doesn’t remember that it’s your anniversary it’s definitely nothing to get upset over. Not everyone has the date marked down on their calendar or the memory of an elephant. And as I mentioned before, not everyone celebrates the same way. If you want to go out and do something special, discuss it with your partner and let him know. Don’t just expect him to show up with roses and dinner reservations.

It’s fun to do something or even to give a little gift. It shows that you care about each other and celebrates your relationship and all that you’ve overcome as a couple. Personally, I love to eat. So when my anniversary came around I invited my boyfriend out for dinner at a restaurant we had never gone to. It was a cute way to celebrate and we both enjoyed it. Here are some other ideas for what you might want to do on your anniversary...

***Stay in and cozy up on the couch for some of your favourite flicks.
***Make a collage of some of the best memories and photos you have together.
***Go to your favourite hangout/date spot, go somewhere you’ve never been, go somewhere or do something that brings back memories.

No matter what you do, it’s spending time together that matters most. Enjoy your special day with each other and Happy Anniversary!

TIP OF THE DAY:

Plan ahead so you both know what’s happening that day. Boys aren’t mind readers so they don’t always know what you want or expect. Communication is key.

Got V-Day Blues?

It's either you hate-it or you love-it, But whether we're ready or not, Love is in the air and Valentines Day is just around the corner...

Let's have a flashback shall we?
Remember all those times in middle school when Valentines Day rolls around, you just couldn't wait to get to school and see what was in-store for you that day?  You usually look for something in particular and see whether you'll be getting a special card or chocolate from a "Secret Admirer" - hoping it's the guy that you've been crushing on? Or how about the annual School Dance where everybody would just stand by the walls and wait for someone to ask you to dance the next slow song? Brings back memories doesn't it?

Now it just feels as if times have changed huh? You look back and think to yourself, we had it pretty easy back then... we were young and infatuated. Now that you're just a little bit older and understand the great things and even the complicated things when it comes to love, it seems like holidays such as this can easily take a toll on us. Nowadays, when you ask someone what comes to mind when February 14 hits? It's like a series of mixed emotions just come rushing in. Some of us may either dread this day and can't wait until it's over or there are those who just eagerly count the days until it arrives.  Even then, at some point or another, I'm sure the thought has even crossed our minds that there doesn't even have to be a holiday that should remind us when you should do something nice for your loved ones, because when you love someone, everyday should be Valentines Day right? But try looking at it this way... there must be a reason why this holiday exists, so why not make the best of it? Whether we like it or not, its a national holiday so don't be a grump and spend it with your loved ones. It may just be another day to you, but it's definitely a good reminder of the many great people you have in your life, so cherish the moment. Holidays are supposed to make us happy, not the opposite.

Also, Valentines Day is a day to show your appreciation for your loved ones, not just for your current beau or crush, but to everyone else around you that you love as well, whether it's your family, your bff or even your yourself. It's simply a day to just celebrate the love you have for the people around you and letting them know how much they mean to you.

***So, if you already were planning to loaft around and drown yourself with ice cream, watching the same-old chick flicks and  constantly think about why this is how you chose to spend the day... Don't even think about doing it.  Instead, gather your girlfriends and spend the day with them, if you don't want to go out, then have a "girl's-night-in" and have a chick-flick marathon.  There is just no use in sulking in and feeling blue during this time all by yourself. Try to keep in mind that there's nothing better than surrounding yourself with good company especially if you're with loved ones. 

Now, I think it's safe to say that we all have different scenarios when it comes to our love-life and I'm sure every one of us can exchange opinions and stories about why we either love or hate this day - but just remember to be optimistic. No matter what your situation may be currently, take this day to unwind and relax with your loved ones, whomever it may be. Go out for dinner, watch a movie,  or stay-in and just hangout with your bff's, do whatever pleases your heart. Single or not on Valentines, enjoy the day! Give yourself something to smile about and stay happy!


TIP OF THE DAY:
Keep an open mind. Try not to be so quick to write-off this holiday. Just be optimistic, because no matter what your situation may be currently, it isn't permanent. Staying positive just makes things that much better.

The Effects of Confidence

 Are you trying to get him to notice you? Talk to you? Ask you out?
Are you out on your first date? Second? Tenth?

No matter what the situation is, there's one word you always need to keep in mind: Self-confidence.

There's nothing more unattractive than a girl who thinks she's unattractive. Have you ever had a boy compliment you and you were so happy to hear him say it and then you put yourself down? "You look great" "Really? I don't think I look that good today but thanks". I hear girls say stuff like this all the time, and if you don't already know it yet, then I'm here to tell you - guys HATE it.

Rock your confidence with a hot new outfit. It's what makes you shine. And like your favourite Juicy purse, make sure you never leave home without it!

Here's a few tips to help make your confidence shine:

Smile. Have you ever heard someone say “you look beautiful when you smile?” Well it’s true. Nothing brightens up your look like a smile. Plus it will make you more approachable and make people want to talk to you.
Make eye contact. Not only does it show that you're confident in yourself, it also shows that you're interested in who you're talking to and what they're saying.
Use your voice. Don't be shy. When you talk it's your chance to show yourself off. Your intelligence, your opinion, your humour, and everything else about you.

You know You best. You know all the amazing things about you. Let them shine through and show everyone that you know you're worth getting to know.

TIP OF THE DAY:

Don't be afraid to approach a boy. There's no better way to showcase your self-confidence.

First Date Jitters

So your crush finally asked you out. What now? 

Every one of us experiences the excitement and the anxieties of a 'first date'.  We all get caught up and try to make a good first impression - in hopes of scoring a second date with that cute boy/girl you've been crushing on for ages.  But let's not get ahead of ourselves and jump to thinking about second dates already... Everyone has to take it one step at a time. Remember, he already asked you out on a date, which means he already likes you.

Nowadays, it is common for teenagers to be a little intimidated and nervous on their first dates. We all stress about finding the perfect place, the perfect outfit, what to say and even how to act around them... But what we really just have to remember is to take a breather and RELAX. You have nothing to stress over. If they took the time to ask you out, you're already one step closer!  Just stay calm, pick the cutest outfit you have in your closet, doll yourself up a bit and dress appropriately in according to where he is taking you. More importantly, play it cool. 

Remember, first dates are supposed to be just for getting to know one another, find out each other's likes and dislikes, what hobbies you have in common, etc.  For instance, try to find a nice cafe around the block, have dinner and get to know one another. Make sure that the place has a good atmosphere where you can just enjoy each other's company. Keep it simple, be yourself and just enjoy the moment. As long as you stay true to yourself, chances are, he will ask you out for a second date. Who knows? He might just be the one.

TIP OF THE DAY:

Try not to give away your whole life story on the first date. You always have to leave them wanting more ;).