Long-Distance Relationships

 

Do you miss him? Waiting for that one phone call? When will you see each other again? Will you still be exclusive when he moves? 

I'm sure these are some questions that goes through our mind when dealing with long distance relationships... but truth is, as long as you are both ready to take on a new challenge as a couple and you trust each other, then this will be a walk in the park for you. Pretty soon, you'll be counting the days until your together again. 

But first things first, there are some factors every couple should consider before making the next move. To many people, it may seem as if being far away from each other would make things much more complicated, but the reality is, it all just depends on both of you, as a couple. For whatever reason that you might be separated by distance, it's important for the relationship if both ends are putting in the effort needed to make it work. 

As a couple, you two would need to trust one another. If you both made a commitment that you would make it work, then the easiest way to get through it is by staying in touch and building that trust and loyalty with each other. Without trust, the long-distance relationship is doomed. Not only do you need to trust him, but he needs to trust you as well.

Try and share everything with one another. After all, you two are a couple right? Just because he’s not there on a daily basis doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be a part of your life. As difficult as it might be, it will help you both in establishing and continuing the relationship from where you left off.

As I already mentioned, by staying in touch often - it would make things a bit easier. Although, it may be a bit hectic and quite expensive for your phone bills; by keeping in touch via text messages, email, webcam and letters - it would at least help and make it seem as if he never left - as long as you both make an effort to talk to one another as often as possible.

Remember, make reunions count. Hopefully distance has helped you to appreciate each other more, which makes for even steamier reunions. It’s important to enjoy the expectation that comes with waiting. Knowing you’ve got a flight booked makes those lonely night pass faster. Make sure when you do meet up, you treat it as quality time together, and not catch-up time with the rest of the planet. Consider reunions a vacation if possible, because, let's face it, things would that be that much better. Make every moment count.

Lastly, schedule time accordingly. While reunions are wonderful, if they’re too far apart, stress will build up. The more frequent the reunions, the more “normal” your relationship will feel. However, if frequent reunions are impossible, try to deal with issues as they arise rather than waiting to spring them on him like a cold shower when you’re finally together.

So ladies, there you have it. Just a few tips and advice on how to survive the long distance relationships. Just remember to look forward to the days that you will be together again, and time will just fly by. Distance means nothing if the person means so much...


TIP OF THE DAY:
Trust is key in every relationship, whether the distance may be a factor or not, just remember to trust one another no matter what. Stay positive throughout the time apart and stay in touch as much as possible, because when you do get together it would be that much better. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

When to say 'I Love You'

The  first time you say 'I love you' to your boyfriend is a big deal. It's scary, exciting, confusing, and meaningful. It's a big step to take in a relationship and many people have the same question... when is the right time to say it?

Well, it's hard to say when the 'right' time is. Many people say it's whenever it feels 'right' and when you know that you really do love the person. But how will you know?

It's true that you shouldn't say it until you know you love the person. When you say it make sure you mean it. But what exactly does loving someone mean? It means caring about the person, wanting them to be happy and going out of your way to make sure they are, trusting them, wanting to spend everyday with them... if these things are true for you, then chances are you really do love and care about him.

So you love him... now what? You may be nervous about his reaction. Will he say it back? Does he feel the same way? Here's some clues that maybe he does:

• He shares his thoughts and feelings with you. If he sees you as someone he can talk to about things that matter to him, it's because he trusts you and cares about you.
• He brings you around his friends. If he introduces you to his friends and lets you spend time with them, it's because he is proud to be with you and he sees you as one of his friends too.
• He's there for you. If he makes you his first priority and will go out of his way to be there for you when you need him, it's because you're important to him and he wants to make you happy.

When you feel like you love him and it seems like he loves you, that's the 'right' time.

TIP OF THE DAY:

Don't say it if you're not ready. Wait until you're comfortable and absolutely sure. Don't feel forced to say 'I love you' back if he says it to you first. Make sure you mean it.

How to Deal with Break-Ups

So, this may be a bit of a touchy subject, however, as much as we hate talking about it... Break-ups happen in every relationship. We've all been there and done that. For the time being, it may be really hard to deal with, but as long as you stay positive, you will be alright. 

First and foremost, there are many reasons why a relationship might be coming to an end... I think it's safe to say that we can all agree that not all relationships are a fairytale ending. Relationships take work and effort from both ends and as much as we'd like to try, sometimes, things just don't work out. 

Here are the common reasons why many couples break-up...

- Fell out of love 

- He cheated (check post "The C-Word - Dealing with Cheaters)

- Trust issues

- Always fighting

- He may want different things

- He moved / distance

- Conflicting issues with family and friends

So, how do we know when he might be ready to walk out? Guys aren’t known for initiating relationship conversations - which is why when/if they do break things off, it often seems like the bomb was dropped out of the blue.  

Here are some signs your boyfriend is ready to call it quits...

- He overloads at work

- He stopped inviting you to hang with his friends

- He keeps conversations neutral

- He boxes you out

- He stopped texting you sweet things

- Cuts off the PDA

For starters, the loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard - you may feel so much pain and heartache at the time and for all we know, this is the hardest part of a break-up, but remember it's not the end of the world, just like the famous saying "there are other fishes in the sea..." So, keep in mind that there is someone out there for everybody. When you are ready to move on, your perfect guy will come. Just don't look too hard!

   

Break-ups usually bring out a mixed of emotions and many times you may feel like you have to start over, and in reality, maybe it's just what we need. It may be hard for you to imagine your life without your boyfriend right now but truth is, you will move on. The only thing you have to do is to let yourself know that you will get through this. Stay positive. If it came to a point that one of you decide it isn't working out anymore, then it is time to re-evaluate what's best for the relationship and one another. Truth is, if there's only one person willing to work out on the relationship, no matter what the situation may be, as a couple, you will both have a difficult time dealing with any issues that you may have in the relationship. After all, it takes two to tango.

* * *

Now, everyone handles their break-ups differently. The important thing to do is to take your time with it. It may have come from out of left field for you or you were already expecting it, but at the end of the day, it is what it is. The moving on process just depends on YOU. It's all in a matter of timing. Whenever you are ready to take those pictures down, hide those love letters or that stuffed teddy bear he gave you for Valentines day, whatever it may be, when you are ready to do so, you are taking the first step to moving on.

However, keep in mind, the longer you hold on to these feelings - the harder it will be to get over him. So during this process, consider surrounding yourselves with girlfriends and have fun with them. There is no use of sulking in and feeling depressed and thinking of 'what if' situations, what happened and what you could have done to prevent it - I'm sure we can come up with many reasons and things that we can do differently, but things happen for a reason.  Just see it as a thing of the past, and you need to move forward and move on.

TIP OF THE DAY:

Take this time to refocus on yourself and the other relationships you have with your friends and family. Remember, it's not the end of the world - take it one day at a time, and move on at your own pace. Sooner or later, a new love interest might just be waiting around the corner.

The 'C' Word - Dealing with Cheaters

I'd say it's a pretty bad word. It sure isn't something good. Not always easy to talk about and definitely not easy to deal with. No one likes that ugly word that destroys so many relationships... Cheating.

So why do it? Well there's different reasons as to why people cheat. Some do it because they get bored, some for revenge, some to feel better about themselves... but bottom line is, if someone is cheating on you then they don't deserve to be with you. They can apologize and tell you all the things that you want to hear but words are simply words and actions speak much louder.

If you do find out your boyfriend is cheating, you're pretty much left with two options. Will you decide to break up with him or forgive him? Now I'm not here to tell anyone what to do, but keep in mind that if you forgive him you're pretty much allowing him to cheat. You're putting up with his actions and this often starts a vicious cycle. Remember what they say - once a cheater, always a cheater.

If you've ever cheated or even considered it, keep in mind what you're doing to the person you care about. When you're in a relationship you often need to try and see things from your partner's perspective. Would you want the person you love to do this to you? What would it do to the relationship if you found out they did? If you feel the need or want to cheat or be with someone else, break up. Don't stay with the person and cheat on them because you're not helping anyone - not yourself, not your boyfriend, and not the person you're cheating with. 

TIP OF THE DAY:

There's no reason to stick with a cheater. You deserve the best and there are plenty of other people that would love to treat you like the queen that you are.